Anyone else have that person at work, in your extended family, or down the friend line that feels they must invade your space, inorder for you to pay attention...? I find it's always the one person you'd just assume not converse with anyway...
The one that hasn't had a decent bath since he fell in the creek bed back in Nam.
The hillbilly deluxe with yellow teeth that you can't stop staring at the tabacco chunk spackling.
The creepy little short woman that you can't help but picture her turning orange, and bobbing up and down while singing, "oompa, loompa, do-pu-di-do"...
The overly animated crack junkie that if she makes one more judo chop motion toward you, you're gonna see if her skinny ass fits in the paper shredder!
The two drunk buddies that get ya, one on each shoulder, and begin to talk, not to you, but thru you to the other one...
Showing posts with label Point of View Series. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Point of View Series. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
POV #1: The Yellow Mouth
You've met this person, at least once. You may still associate with one or more of them, and for that you are more kind than I could ever be.
Yes, I made up a term for them, and yes, it's seemingly obvious, but:
Yellow mouth by my definition: a person who's mouth is constantly writing checks their ass can't cash; one whom from over the internet, phone, text, etc is ten foot tall and bulletproof, but face up they couldn't be more gutless, shady, two-faced, or backstabbing; a label for a person that will shake your hand, hug you, and call you "friend", and yet the grapevipe whispers you a different story.
Many folks often confuse this person with the "Drama Queen/King" types, but they are not the same. Drama lovers typically have "Coward" or "Harmless" stamped on their forehead, as to not be in danger of someone handing them their ass on a silver platter should they ever take it too far... The yellow mouth has truly ill/cruel intentions, and they are much harder to spot/catch. Scum of the Earth is the person that will turn the knife they've placed in your back to ensure the bleeding continues long after they are gone. They are a disease that can and will infect your entire social circle if not treated.
Treatment options:
A. Public humiliation among your collective peers. Call them out, face up around a vast majority of your friends.
Expected reaction: Have you ever force fed someone crow? If they won't eat it to mend the wounds they've inflicted, they will tuck tail and run away. Either way, you and yours are cured.
B. The promise and follow thru of physical and mental pain, if they do not right their wrongs.
Expected reaction: This method is particularly painful either way, because, rather than one single serving of crow, they most likely now have several people to go to with the truth. Remembering they're yellow, don't count on ever seeing them again should they choose to tuck tail from this treatment. I know you wanted to trounce them, but oh well, you're cured of them.
C. Last, but certainly not least... The stratigicly placed pipebomb! If you're certain you and yours are better off without this person, and have no intention of trying to change them, blow the fucker up... Whether it be literal or proverbial, I leave to you.
Expected reaction:
Proverbial: You make a mess of them by blowing up on them verbially and/or physically, and they will remove themself from the group. Cured!
Literal: BOOM!
Yes, I made up a term for them, and yes, it's seemingly obvious, but:
Yellow mouth by my definition: a person who's mouth is constantly writing checks their ass can't cash; one whom from over the internet, phone, text, etc is ten foot tall and bulletproof, but face up they couldn't be more gutless, shady, two-faced, or backstabbing; a label for a person that will shake your hand, hug you, and call you "friend", and yet the grapevipe whispers you a different story.
Many folks often confuse this person with the "Drama Queen/King" types, but they are not the same. Drama lovers typically have "Coward" or "Harmless" stamped on their forehead, as to not be in danger of someone handing them their ass on a silver platter should they ever take it too far... The yellow mouth has truly ill/cruel intentions, and they are much harder to spot/catch. Scum of the Earth is the person that will turn the knife they've placed in your back to ensure the bleeding continues long after they are gone. They are a disease that can and will infect your entire social circle if not treated.
Treatment options:
A. Public humiliation among your collective peers. Call them out, face up around a vast majority of your friends.
Expected reaction: Have you ever force fed someone crow? If they won't eat it to mend the wounds they've inflicted, they will tuck tail and run away. Either way, you and yours are cured.
B. The promise and follow thru of physical and mental pain, if they do not right their wrongs.
Expected reaction: This method is particularly painful either way, because, rather than one single serving of crow, they most likely now have several people to go to with the truth. Remembering they're yellow, don't count on ever seeing them again should they choose to tuck tail from this treatment. I know you wanted to trounce them, but oh well, you're cured of them.
C. Last, but certainly not least... The stratigicly placed pipebomb! If you're certain you and yours are better off without this person, and have no intention of trying to change them, blow the fucker up... Whether it be literal or proverbial, I leave to you.
Expected reaction:
Proverbial: You make a mess of them by blowing up on them verbially and/or physically, and they will remove themself from the group. Cured!
Literal: BOOM!
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