Thursday, October 8, 2009

Costume party chaos!

Hey, hey, hey!

It's Fat Albert! Any child of the 70's-80's should know and love this guy. I do! So when I got the invite to an 80's theme costume party, first thing that came to mind was, "Where can I get an oversized, nasty red sweater?" I lie, first thing was, "How hard would it be to turn black for a day?", but I'll leave that alone... So, yesterday I found the shirt, shoes, costume make-up, and got a pair of jeans cuffed-up and yours truly is gonna pull this off! Stay tuned, I'll post pics later this month.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Dose Day Out - Denny's

Decided to stop in Denny's today to steal their Wi-Fi and have lunch. Don't think I've been here sober. Normally it's 3am, not 3pm. Funny thing, the same people are here. Sure our BAC is lower now, but that hasn't made it a crowd of brain surgeons... Example: Fella next to me points to my laptop, "Get internet on that thing?" Wanted to say, "No, my life is so pathetic I bring it into Denny's to sharpen my Solitaire and Minesweeper skills..."

Monday, October 5, 2009

CTD: Cruel Thoughts Disease - Big Brotha

Ever catch yourself thinking the most terrible thoughts about a total stranger? I do it way too often. Like this mornin, I'm in the store for smokes. Fella in front of me is about 5'4" 450lbs, holding a quart of chocolate milk and 2 kingsize Snickers. I guess I had my "friendly face" on, cuz he turns to me and says, "Breakfast of champions." Now I'm a big man, I get that, but I've got a diet coke and a liter of water... Glad my mind to mouth filter was in today, cuz he couldn't "champion" a downhill human bowling ball contest without a crane to get his ass up there.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Irony of the idea of "gun control"

Now, I didn't write this, but I found it to be worth stealing:

Banning guns works, which is why New York, DC, and Chicago cops need guns.

Washington DC's low murder rate of 80.6 per 100,000 is due to strict gun control, and Arlington, VA's high murder rate of 1.6 per 100,000 is due to the lack of gun control.

Statistics showing high murder rates justify gun control but statistics showing increasing murder rates after gun control are "just statistics."

The Brady Bill and the Assault Weapons Ban, both of which went into effect in 1994, are responsible for the decrease in violent crime rates, which have been declining since 1991.

We must get rid of guns because a deranged lunatic may go on a shooting spree at any time and anyone who would own a gun out of fear of such a lunatic is paranoid.

The more helpless you are the safer you are from criminals.

An intruder will be incapacitated by tear gas or oven spray, but if shot with a .357 Magnum will get angry and kill you.

A woman raped and strangled is morally superior to a woman with a smoking gun and a dead rapist at her feet.

When confronted by violent criminals, you should "put up no defense — give them what they want, or run" (Handgun Control Inc. Chairman Pete Shields, Guns Don't Die - People Do, 1981, p. 125).

The New England Journal of Medicine is filled with expert advice about guns; just like Guns and Ammo has some excellent treatises on heart surgery.

One should consult an automotive engineer for safer seatbelts, a civil engineer for a better bridge, a surgeon for spinal paralysis, a computer programmer for Y2K problems, and Sarah Brady [or Sheena Duncan, Adele Kirsten, Peter Storey, etc.] for firearms expertise.

The 2nd Amendment, ratified in 1791, refers to the National Guard, which was created by an act of Congress in 1903.

The National Guard, funded by the federal government, occupying property leased to the federal government, using weapons owned by the federal government, punishing trespassers under federal law, is a state militia.

These phrases," right of the people peaceably to assemble," "right of the people to be secure in their homes," "enumeration's herein of certain rights shall not be construed to disparage others retained by the people," and "The powers not delegated herein are reserved to the states respectively, and to the people," all refer to individuals, but "the right of the people to keep and bear arms" refers to the state.

We don't need guns against an oppressive government, because the Constitution has internal safeguards, but we should ban and seize all guns, thereby violating the 2nd, 4th, and 5th amendments to that Constitution.

Rifles and handguns aren't necessary to national defense, which is why the army has millions of them.

Private citizens shouldn't have handguns, because they serve no military purpose, and private citizens shouldn't have "assault rifles," because they are military weapons.

The ready availability of guns today, with waiting periods, background checks, fingerprinting, government forms, et cetera, is responsible for recent school shootings,compared to the lack of school shootings in the 40's, 50's and 60's, which resulted from the availability of guns at hardware stores, surplus stores, gas stations, variety stores, mail order, et cetera.

The NRA's attempt to run a "don't touch" campaign about kids handling guns is propaganda, and the anti-gun lobby's attempt to run a "don't touch" campaign is responsible social activity.
Guns are so complex that special training is necessary to use them properly, and so simple to use that they make murder easy.

A handgun, with up to 4 controls, is far too complex for the typical adult to learn to use, as opposed to an automobile that only has 20.

Women are just as intelligent and capable as men but a woman with a gun is "an accident waiting to happen" and gun makers' advertisements aimed at women are "preying on their fears."

Ordinary people in the presence of guns turn into slaughtering butchers but revert to normal when the weapon is removed.

Guns cause violence, which is why there are so many mass killings at gun shows.
A majority of the population supports gun control, just like a majority of the population supported owning slaves.

A self-loading small arm can legitimately be considered to be a "weapon of mass destruction" or an "assault weapon."

Most people can't be trusted, so we should have laws against guns, which most people will abide by because they can be trusted.

The right of online pornographers to exist cannot be questioned because it is constitutionally protected by the Bill of Rights, but the use of handguns for self defense is not really protected by the Bill of Rights.

Free speech entitles one to own newspapers, transmitters, computers, and typewriters, but self-defense only justifies bare hands.

The ACLU is good because it uncompromisingly defends certain parts of the Constitution, and the NRA is bad, because it defends other parts of the Constitution.

Charlton Heston as president of the NRA is a shill who should be ignored, but Michael Douglas as a representative of Handgun Control, Inc. is an ambassador for peace who is entitled to an audience at the UN arms control summit.

Police operate with backup within groups, which is why they need larger capacity pistol magazines than do "civilians" who must face criminals alone and therefore need less ammunition.
We should ban "Saturday Night Specials" and other inexpensive guns because it's not fair that poor people have access to guns too.

Police officers, who qualify with their duty weapons once or twice a year, have some special Jedi-like mastery over handguns that private citizens can never hope to obtain.

Private citizens don't need a gun for self-protection because the police are there to protect them even though the Supreme Court says the police are not responsible for their protection.

Citizens don't need to carry a gun for personal protection but police chiefs, who are desk-bound administrators who work in a building filled with cops, need a gun.

"Assault weapons" have no purpose other than to kill large numbers of people, which is why the police need them but "civilians" do not.

When Microsoft pressures its distributors to give Microsoft preferential promotion, that's bad; but when the Federal government pressures cities to buy guns only from Smith & Wesson, that's good.

Trigger locks do not interfere with the ability to use a gun for defensive purposes, which is why you see police officers with one on their duty weapon.

When Handgun Control, Inc., says they want to "keep guns out of the wrong hands," they don't mean you. Really.

Monday, September 28, 2009

A painful reminder...

Good Lawd, did I ever cut loose Saturday! Then I had reality bitchslap me yesterday. Drinkin' games and power partyin' are for spry youngins, which I haven't fell in that category in a long while. Mental clouds are still looming today, and I'm still trying to figger out why that was ever "fun"...

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Coffee Terrorist - Memory lapse...

I needed brain fuel this mornin', so I stopped by to see Talib. I enjoy taunting him a little too much, maybe. Well he fought back today via my own stupidity.

I head back to the cooler for a Monster Java and said, "How's the coffee Talib?" "Ooh, very good n fresh sir." So, I put the can back and went for the hot stuff. I'll be damned if it wasn't the worst in our long history... The hell was I thinkin? I know he's just been waiting for me to slip. Perfecting his deadly recipe in hope I would return. I may actually die from the one or two drinks I choked down. Goodbye cruel world...

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Dose Shirts are in!

Wow! These turned out great! iPhone camera is not the best. They are loud mustard yellow on black, just like we wanted. Those that ordered shirts locally, I will be happy to deliver them or you can come to me. Those that are distant, I will have them in the mail shortly after the 1st of October.
I like to give credit, when credit is due. The folks at GandyInk did a fantastic job! From help with the artwork, to speedy turn around, and incredible customer service and response, Sarah Burnett and the rest of the team at GandyInk cannot be beat. Not even with a big damn stick... So the next time you need anything embroidered or printed, be sure to keep my friends at www.gandyink.com in mind.

And the EWP Award goes to...


Former President Jimmy Carter


Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy... Your opinions and politics sucked during your term, sir. What makes you think the American people give two shits what you think now? Especially since your outrageous claim that racism is at the heart of the vast disapproval of current political movements and controversy has as much backbone as a crawfish. Myself, I'd just assume toss you and your political propaganda into boiling water with taters and corn. Look buddy. I don't pretend or claim to be completely color blind, socially unbias, or even open minded to a whole lot of cultural diversity. In fact, I can be as prejudice as can anyone in some instances. Here is the problem with what you've said. Myself and a large number of my fellow Americans disapprove of so much more than President Obama's black half. Looks to me that there's an awful lot of old, all white congressmen and women causing me just as much pain. Truth is, President Obama, for me, isn't even the head on the proverbial boa constrictor that's strangling my nation. Actually, there are even a small number of President Obama's propositions that I'm all for and would back him on all the way as my president. He and the rest of the snake just gotta quit trying to turn my country inside out first....

Jimmy, your senseless finger-pointing did nothing other than distract the uninformed general public, feed the mass media monster, and fuel the fire lit under the asses of the genuinely concerned citizens of this country. You call me racist. I call you part of the problem. Now take your EWP and get the hell outta my site and ear...

Monday, September 21, 2009

I (heart) NYers!

A couple of New York hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?”

Friday, September 18, 2009

Heads up!

As my days in this office end their end, there's something y'all should know. I've no internet at home. So on days I don't come into town, where my aircard works, there will be no dose. Sad huh... I promise to make time for our fun on days that I can, and it won't be long before I'm back to the grind somewhere!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Minion count milestone!

There are now 450 Minions on the text list!

Also, my infamous father has joined us on the blog! I'm encouraging him to begin converting the entire staff of the VA Hospital / Waco. Welcome Dad!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The bitter end: #3 Bold ain't bulletproof

I stepped into the office this mornin' with an optimistic mind today. Was gonna get some real work done and be one step closer to out the door to whatever's next for me. Then I had to go into the clinic...

I needed a couple things outta one of my treatment rooms. I round the corner into my hallway to a couple new faces, my replacements. Didn't know it at the time, but by the time I made it into my room, I had it figured out. Everything of mine is laid in the floor and what was my space was fast filling with equipment from the outsource company brought in to do the job I just lost.

Ballsy huh? Bringing in the new before the old is gone... I spent the rest of my mornin' in my truck smoking cigarettes, trying to decide whether I could remain calm thru the rest of my obligations to my contract. It's this kind of cut throat, careless, heartless, holier than thou means of doing business that leads to "goin' postal".

I'd be lyin' if I said my mind hasn't rolled all kinds of wicked ideas around in the last three days. Lucky for those involved, I have a great support base and I'm realitively stable upstairs. I'd like nothing more right now than to show them that had it been a lesser person they fucked with, that their decisions/actions would/could have carried much heavier consequences.

The human lightning rod

I watched an interview this morning with a fella that's been struck by lightning four times! Needless to say the guy was a bit "special". No, wait, he was a walking talking bobblehead doll with a drooling issue. Now they said the first three times were by the age of 16... Where were the parents? If it were my kid, after strike two it's no longer a fluke, and I'd keep his electrically charged waterhead in the damn house less there's not a cloud in the sky!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

And the EWP Award goes to...


Kanye West

Let's give it up for him folks! He definately gets us started with a *BANG*... Pun intended.

For those of you that have missed it, Mr. West here is outta this world "proud to be black". Pride is one thing, but when you pull a public stunt that gets Beyonce Knowles goin', "What's this nigga doin'?" on camera, it's a whole other thing. Anyone see his most recent stunt on MTV's VMAs? The brotha stole the mic from a little ol' country white girl, Taylor Swift, during her thank you speech for Best Female Music Video, to let everyone know, "Beyonce had one of the greatest videos of all time!" I watched the youtube of it prolly ten times and still can't believe this fucker... Poor Taylor... Her ass just stood there in shock forever, like she had just seen her dog run the hell over. I remember him doing something similar to Michael Myers not too long ago... Someone should put a shock collar on this asshole, so everytime he gets near a microphone, *ZAP*. Some will say, "Then how will he record more music?" I gotta tell ya, my ears wouldn't give a damn...

So here you go Kanye, your award for being this week's Biggest Head with a Terrible $1000 Haircut



New to the Dose(Blog only). Check it

If you haven't noticed, I have a serious problem with wanting to pipebomb certain people. So much so that several minions have asked if I've made one, or even used one. Well the answer is sadly no. Well that ends today, metaphorically of course.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to present to you:

EyeReckn's Weekly Pipebomb Award!

As an avid follower of current events and news, I will hand pick one public figure or group to receive this honor each week. I will take any and all suggestions on who or what is deserving of this award from my followers. The winner will get not only the award, but a royal word thrashing for all to enjoy!

WooHoo!

Pipebomb Label

The question is:

If you were to label a pipebomb with a single thought or phrase for the "victim", what would it say?

"I hope this finds you busy with your life, or at least interrupts something terribly important. I would hate to think I went to all this trouble to simply blow your mind..." - Jed

"See you in Hell bitch!"- Cameron

"If you hold this to your ear, you can hear the good part" - Laney

"Bet you can't re-gift this" - Alan

"Warning - Contents may be HOT!" - Shannon

"Shit your pants - NOW!" - Becky

"This is me being a psycho bitch" - Mandy

"Warning - Bloating may occur" - Fletcher

"Pansy ass mommas boy" - Deitra

"You should've been a better person asshole" - Dean

"Shove this up your ass sideways" - CJ

"No need to thank me. This is a great gift for us both. It will put you outta our misery" - David

"If you hurry, you can get just far nuff away to bleed out slowly, rather than just the big boom" - Nate

"Boom" - Heather

"I'm really doing you a favor here" - Chris

"Could you mail this back when you are done?" - Kirk

"The ultimate painkiller" - Robin

"Just think, somewhere there will be a waterhead that goes, 'Look at the pretty lights" - Nick

"Running will just have you die tired" - Clint

"We drew straws for who got this, remember?" - Ben

"I won't expect this back, just like the rest of my shit you have" - Kim

"Start clickin' your heels. There's no place like home" - Hanna

"There's no beer in Hell" - Brad

"Muah! Kiss your ass goodbye... Sincerely, Erica" - Erica

"Told you I'd show you crazy muthafucka" - Crystal

T-shirts ordered!

It took longer than I had expected, but I've got the order together and submitted. I should have them in my hands sometime next week.

Thanks to everyone that ordered a shirt. Those that were interested, but we couldn't get together for one reason or another, sorry I'm not in a position to spot anyone. If you missed out this round, I can order more anytime so long as we have 12 to an order.

Monday, September 14, 2009

The bitter end: #2 Guilty dog syndrome

I've walked in and out of my office and lab, thru the clinic and to the front a number of times today. You can see in the faces of the general staff that they know something is wrong, but don't really know what. I've only crossed paths with one partner today and you could smell the fear and taste the tention in the clinic. The other two must be avoiding me like the black dead, cuz normally I would catch them in passing many times throughout the day. Can't say I blame the one. He is the one that when things started changing and power shifted, made a point to come tell me "how much he and the others wanted me to stay", and "how appreciated I was around the office". I feel like he was honest in those thoughts then, but was then railroaded by the other two into this ultimately ugly end to our relationship. Even in the meeting last week, when they announced their decision, he wouldn't look at me. Does that make him better or worse than the rest? Only time will tell, but for now, they can all continue to look away as I pass. There is a sick and twisted feeling of justice and self worth that runs up my spine to see the guilty dogs cowering into whatever paperwork or conversation they can find to hide their eyes from mine.

The bitter end: #1 Let the games begin

Some know, most don't, but my medical practice was officially terminated last Friday. My clinic has been under new ownership for about the last month, and the new partners have decided their best business move was to no longer continue to provide in house pedorthic treatment. "Nothing personal", they told me, as I was handed my contract release papers.

Feels personal. Feels like I was viewed as part of the old guard around here, and in that, some kind of threat to their new found riches. I feel as if I could never trust anyone that my only ties are business relations. I see more clearly the rational of those people who, in times past, have walked thru the offices of their would be betrayers with automatic weapons, as if that somehow levels the injustice they've recently been served. That's not my style or form of justice though. No, I'd much rather uphold my end of the deal by taking care of my patients and their needs until the closure date, Oct 9th. From that date, I will have fulfilled my end of my contract.

Later, when these corporate scumbags try to stiff this seemingly simple country boy they don't respect, I will have my justice served at the end of a courtroom gavel. I fully expect these people to try to wiggle out of any and all moneys due to me, and I am already preparing for such. I will have my proverbial pipebombs at the ready, to strategically place up each of their arrogant asses.

Stay tuned for more, as I'm sure this isn't the end, just the beginning of it...

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

POV #2: Get outta my bubble!

Anyone else have that person at work, in your extended family, or down the friend line that feels they must invade your space, inorder for you to pay attention...? I find it's always the one person you'd just assume not converse with anyway...

The one that hasn't had a decent bath since he fell in the creek bed back in Nam.

The hillbilly deluxe with yellow teeth that you can't stop staring at the tabacco chunk spackling.

The creepy little short woman that you can't help but picture her turning orange, and bobbing up and down while singing, "oompa, loompa, do-pu-di-do"...

The overly animated crack junkie that if she makes one more judo chop motion toward you, you're gonna see if her skinny ass fits in the paper shredder!

The two drunk buddies that get ya, one on each shoulder, and begin to talk, not to you, but thru you to the other one...